Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize