i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
