R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
