Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Two words: nipple clamps
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