when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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