Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
tell me about the fingering
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