That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
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