Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
