We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I would fuck him just for his dog
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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