I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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