You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
