Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
