I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
