(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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