We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I AM VODKA MAN
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
