the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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