Will you blow on my dice?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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