walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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