jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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