I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
