No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
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bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
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Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
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