Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
how drunk are you?
Several
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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