i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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