Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
