Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Randomize
