omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
is it fun? or sober?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize