Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
