you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
