Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
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I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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