Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
