he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
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Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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