butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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