My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
