I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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