WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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