belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
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