No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
