Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
