Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
