But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
i believe in u and ur pee
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
