i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
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