nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Randomize
