there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I just gift wrapped bread.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
