i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
