It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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