Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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