i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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