I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
