The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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