Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Enjoy the penises
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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