Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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