Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
you will always have a special place in my vag
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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