and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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