I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
