Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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