I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
