is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
His nipple licking is glorious
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