your room smells of hookers.
And success
i think i have two assholes
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize
